Friday, September 01, 2006

Arnab In India - The Chronicles of Arnia

My flat consists of two levels. The lower level consists of a spacious courtyard with adjacent rooms on two sides in an L shape. The I part of the L contains the kitchen, large bathroom, and the living room. The _ part of the L contains two bedrooms and a smaller bathroom. 2 guys live in each of these rooms. Until a fortnight ago, there were 5 men in the flat so I stayed in the living room. Now I have moved in to an actual bedroom. All ceilings on this level are covered in cobwebs, including the kitchen. The bathrooms are filthy and contain many indescribable wonders. The large bathroom contains an Indian style (crouch and relax) toilet. The smaller one has a Western style (sit and concentrate) toilet that was recently outfitted with a seat due to the generosity of the landlord. The flushing mechanism is not fully operational so buckets of water in conjunction with a bum shower (a gun shaped mini shower used to clean the rear) are utilised as an alternative method of waste disposal. The upper level consists of only one room, where two girls reside. It has no cobwebs. The bathroom within it is relatively sanitary, but I am forbidden from using it.

*****

Having vacated the living room, I now share a room with a Korean guy. The other Korean chap who used to live in this room departed for greener pastures with fewer mosquitoes. My roommate has managed to befriend a fellow who is both an university student and rickshaw driver rolled into one. He also has a brother with long hair who rides a scooter. The dynamic duo invited him to their sister's wedding, and even gave him an auto ride to the wedding hall. My flatmate from Dubai is suspicious of these individuals. He told us a cautionary tale of an intern who was once befriended by an Indian on the street. Together they went to a few clubs and parties and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. One day the Indian friend approached the intern in desperate need for money. He needed to borrow two thousand rupees immediately. He showed the intern his ring, convinced him that it was worth a fortune, and gave it to him as collateral in exchange for the money and left, never to be seen again. The next day the intern discovered his cell phone was missing and further investigation revealed that identical rings could be purchased from local street vendors for a pittance.

*****

A French Canadian intern was confused as to why Indians used water rather than toilet paper to cleanse their cheeks and the chasm between. An intern of Punjabi descent recounted his father's explanation for this cultural phenomenon. When someone drops some food on a table, wiping it with a paper towel is a quick fix. But to really clean the mess, washing it with water is a much more effective solution.

1 Comments:

At 7:42 AM, Blogger arnab said...

During emergencies the crouch and relax method is quite efficient and satisfying. It is also more sanitary as no time is wasted wiping the seat before letting loose.

When time is on my side, the sit and concentrate approach is preffered, as I can comfortably read a newspaper or magazine at the same time.

 

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